I miss sharing my bed. I have a giant bed and I only sleep on half of it. At night, I go to sleep in the middle, knowing I’m alone, but in the morning I wake up on my side of the bed. Alone. I miss your warmth, even if it was too much most of the time. I just want you here and I can’t have that. I know I can’t, and I know I never will again. I need to accept that, but I don’t want to. So I’ll continue sleeping on my side, and someday maybe you’ll come back. Or maybe I’ll move on and sleep on the whole bed myself. Or maybe I’ll find someone to replace you, but it will never be the same.
Yesterday, Kiel was coming home from Colorado, and I offered to pick him up from the Wisconsin Dells, because he still hadn’t found a ride home yet and I figured, why the hell not? I haven’t seen the guy in a month and I’ve got nothing better to do, so why not? Plans changed and I only had to drive to Madison, so I went a couple hours early and hung out with a friend of mine out there. It was nice to get away from home, even for a little while. Just drive. So I pick up Kiel and take him to his apartment and I spent the night. We spent most of the day together too. We didn’t get out of bed till noon. We figured we both deserved a day off. It was just nice to relax, cuddle, and god damnit, I’ll sleep in if I want to. I needed today. But, it’s back to the real world. Homework to do tonight and work tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that.